Eureka!

I've finally figured out why most of the people I talk to are so immature and act so blind and dumb. They're kids. They haven't been out on their own yet, willing to try to get ahead. They don't know what the real world's like yet: they've been handed everything on a sliver platter. But then again, do I even really know what it's like to pay bills myself? I've never written a REAL check in my life- I'm living off of government money based on my disability. I wish I could say no to it, but without it, I'd have nothing. So the alternative is worse. I want to go find a job, and it's not that I'm afraid, but it seems a vicious cycle- to get to work- even to ride the bus, I need money that I don't have. I want to volunteer to get my feet wet and used to working, and an excellent place to start where I would actually know how to do something would be habitat for humanity. It would give me a sense of pride and being, but my friend is being an ass saying, "I don't have the money to drive you there." He's an old ass of a man, barely gets out of his house ever, except when I or my mother need him, and gripes about everything. I've been convinced of myself that I couldn't work a job, or even volunteer, and now that I'm finally weaning myself off of that, the only person that can actually take me where I need to go won't. Shame, really, that he has to be such a hardass. He lives in an apartment that he pays $815 a month for, overly excessive in this region of the United States, where most apartments (of fair size) can be gotten for $450-$600 a month, and yet he refuses to give up his stupidity. He has diabetes, yet he drinks 3-5 Red Bulls a day. I wish I could convince him his lifestyle is stupid and that not caring about what's going on is a horrible character flaw, but he doesn't care enough to even try anymore. I realize he's 68 years old, but that doesn't give him the right to bitch about everything (which he does at almost every opportunity). I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of him, but I don't know what to do; he's the only one that was ever willing to give me money when I needed it. My mother stupidly relies on him too, but yet she complains when all he does is bitch. I wish I could get rid of him, but I also don't want to lose the monetary support. It's truly sad; the only reason I stick around him the occasional chance at getting his money. At least I'm willing to admit I have an addiction to him; he's not even willing to admit that it would be near impossible for him to find another friend with his attitude.